How Lessons From The Fat-O-Sphere changed my life

I don't mean to turn this into a fat blog. It's not- it encompasses many of my passions and ideas, but I do tend to get on topic kicks and I guess fat has been one of them lately. A few weeks ago I was visiting a friend, helping with a yard sale. We ended up talking most of the day about various topics, but at some point diets and fat came up (don't they always when two fat women are talking?). I can't remember exactly what was said although I'm fairly certain it was something about counting calories and how it never seems to work, and she told me she had something I needed to read. Lessons From The Fat-O-Sphere by Kate Harding and Marianne Kirby. I flipped through it and ended up forgetting it when I left.

A few days later my friend brought it over. Well alright alright.. I guess I'll read it. I was sure it was some stupid frou frou 'love your body, you're a goddess' crap.. which is great when I'm feeling euphoric and manic and decide that I'm the best fucking thing since sliced bread, but overall it's never held. So I read.

And man did I get pissed.

Seriously- this book is the type of book that, if you're like me, will piss you off at every new chapter. Everything in it goes against everything you know and have been taught. Then comes the sadness as you start to feel your hope of eventual thinness is being taken away from you by the cold, hard truth- backed up with plenty of studies and expert opinions. Then more anger at your body for being so stupid as to not be naturally thin like all those girls you know who can never seem to gain weight no matter what they eat. Then, finally, acceptance. If you can get through to that last part, I promise it's worth it.

Before I read this book I hated myself- and I had since I first gained weight around 7 or 8 years old. And why wouldn't I? Everyone told me I should and hey, they all hated me too so it made sense. Obviously I was just doing something wrong even when I was doing everything right. When I was a teenager I used to cut myself.. I used to cut the parts of my body that I hated. Once my brother found out he told all his friends at school that I was trying to cut the fat off. So then they could laugh at me for being fat and being a freak. In high school I began developing eating disorders. Throwing up, starving, diet pills, over eating, binge eating, and everything in between. I obsessed over my weight- tried every diet, went to gyms.. it never worked but hey, that just made me hate myself more for not doing it right.

At 25, married, and with a four year old son I still didn't have control over it. I began counting calories and the more I counted the less I ate until I was consuming about 300 calories a day. If I went over 500 I internally and mentally freaked out. I wouldn't let my husband touch my stomach, or any other part of me that I deemed too flabby or fatty.I hated having my photo taken and always hated going out where there were people because I felt they were staring at my fat and judging me. Maybe they are.. I've just learned not to care.

So what happened when I read the book and let it sink in? I started by posting video and full body photos (not taken at the myspace angle that most fat people use to visually shed 50 lbs), I began looking for fat positive photographers which led me to a site called Model Mayhem (I have two shoots booked this week already), I began wearing clothes proudly and even wear one of my shirts that has no back without layering and, most importantly, I stopped dieting. I realized that even when I'm not dieting and counting calories I still don't pig out and consumes thousands of calories in a day- so what was I so worried about? I've gotten involved in the fat-o-sphere and even helped start a new sub reddit on reddit.com. I'm much happier and, though I  haven't completely accepted my body and I still have plenty of hangups, I'm on a great road.

Fat Vegan- You're Bad for Business

How hard is it to find a fat vegan? Not as hard as you may think. Though there's never been a study done on the weight of adult vegans, adult vegetarians are only 10 to 20 pounds lighter than their meat eating counterparts. For many people that's enough to get a slight pudge down to a slim belly, but what does that mean for the obese vegan? If you are 100 lbs overweight and going vegan makes you lose 20lbs- guess what? You're still 80lbs overweight. You're still a fat vegan. And, apparently, you're bad for business.

According to Dr. McDougall, " Fat vegans, however, have failed one important animal: themselves. Furthermore, their audiences of meat-eaters and animal-abusers may be so distracted by their appearance that they cannot hear the vital issues of animal rights and the environment; resulting in an unacknowledged setback for a fat vegan’s hard work for change." So sorry fat vegans- apparently everyone's too busy looking at your belly for anything you say to be valid. 

Now, McDougall isn't all wrong- it's true that there exist many bigotries concerning fat people all over the world. - most of them simply untrue, but people will judge you based on how you look. Let's also be clear that those people, the ones who only care about the most superficial topics, aren't likely to go vegan anyway- especially since they're likely already thin. 

I went vegan for the animals- not my waistline. I eat well, I exercise, but I'll be damned if I'll let someone tell me that I'm too unattractive to be vegan- or that I'm so unattractive that I put others off of going vegan. I know dozens of vegans and every single one of them looks about the same as they did before going veg. 10 or 20 lbs makes little difference if someone's natural body shape is bigger. 

The bottom line is that I shouldn't have to torment myself to be thin just because someone else doesn't like how I look. These types of sentiments- encouraging vegans to obsess over their waistlines and the number on the scale isn't a healthy out look for anyone. Yes, we should try to be healthy, but not everyone even cares so why make them? It's their body, let them be. And for those who do- they're already trying to lose weight and eat as healthfully as possible, so why barrage them with messages that they're not good enough? 

I planned on making this a much longer blog post with  much more scathing and relevant comments, but considering i'm bipolar and borderline suicidally depressed at the moment, I'm going to go eat some fucking cookies- and if you think that makes me bad for your image then screw you.

"1 law to a Perfect Body"

I know that I recently did a blog on fatphobia and sizism, but let's be honest: we all know it's not going away any time soon. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm pretty sick and tired of seeing weight loss ads everywhere I go. I was recently reading an article by Sam Harris on beliefnet and I saw a version of the ad you see to the left. I can hear the assholes now: "you wouldn't be offended if you weren't so fat". It's times like that when I'm glad I have thin friends who are just as outspoken against sizism and the focus on body image as I am. 

Firstly, fat people are fat for a variety of reasons, but secondly, not a single one of those reasons is your business. Let's assume that what every thin person says about every fat person is true: that we just shovel food in our faces. My question would be: so what? Thin people are allowed to shovel food with no one batting an eye- some people may even find it endearing or entertaining. But should someone with a much slower metabolism do the same, they are looked at with disdain, disgust, and judgment.  So my first question to these haters is why are we not allowed to enjoy the same lifestyle that you are? 

The unintelligent retort tends to be "because it makes you fat!" but again I ask.. so what? The only reason this is a problem is because of assholes like you! If people were allowed to just be their natural sizes or whatever size they chose to be then there wouldn't even be an argument here. Okay naturally thin person who eats a lot and watches TV all day, you don't want to sleep with me. I get that.. I'm not attracted to all people either. I'm generally not attracted to thin people and I'm never attracted to extremely thin people, but I never degrade them or make them feel bad about themselves for being thin. Other people want to sleep with me- other people have slept with me, so it's obviously not a problem in my life. Combine that with the fact that I'm likely healthier than you are and you don't' have a single argument to back you other than your lack of attraction. If we got rid of everyone in the world that everyone didn't find attractive, how many people would we be left with exactly? I'm pretty sure that number would be low enough to exterminate the human race entirely.

Another argument may be "but it's bad for you". One more time everybody! SO WHAT? If people choose to eat unhealthy foods with the full knowledge of the risks then who cares? People go skydiving, people join the military, and people drive cars: all of these have well known risks and are rarely criticized for that reason. That doesn't even get into the fact that being thin does not exclude you from health risks of a bad diet. 

So let's compromise: everyone can eat whatever they want as long as they're not directly interfering with another's wellbeing or life and people can stop being asshats about other people's eating habits or physical appearance. Let's make that apply to all aspects of physical appearance shall we?